jazz? nice.....

just got back from paris. lovely place and i've a couple of updates on the trip i'll be bringing you shortly. in the meantime, here's a taste of the culture i've ingested this past weekend. this is a short clip of the kind of class you can expect when visiting the likes of the louvre, orsay or pompidou. frankly i'm shocked parisians can get out to work in the morning when they've got this kind of head candy to twist on.

be patient with the link, it's the internet and there's some boy in texas watching clips of goats and porpoises.

click here to see some really top art.
Really Good Stuff Here

by the rivers of babylon

out last night with the boss for drinks with her colleagues to celebrate the big-30.

fairly uneventful evening for me ( if not the geezer on the 11.05 train home). the boss got emotional and made a meal - literally - of a cheese sandwich whilst i met a couple of her colleagues and fretted uncessarily about missing the arse-juve clincher.

the boss slept on the way back so i busied myself with shuffle mode on the pod and the evening standard [shite]. there had obviously been a "rawk" event somewhere as there were a few casualties sporting the ubiquitous ac/dc and metallica black t's.

as we approached home i gave the boss a nudge and got up to stand behind a bloke already positioned by the doors. i was miles away [charlatans] and thinking of the heated blanket when i became aware of rivulets of liquid cascading around the floor. puzzled, i scanned around the immediate low level vicinity before heading north and encountering the pained reflection of the boy's face in the window. there was a look that essentially said, "sweet jesus, please don't let him realise i'm giving it all up on my skin tight, faded grey levis."

as our eyes met the map of africa became clear and - as the doors slid open - he did his finest bow-legged ranchero walk up the platform exuding the pain that only a man who has just taken a public piss in his own pants can muster.

i fancy it may not even have been his station - he just needed to go and couldn't wait any longer.

it was cold on our short walk home. i'm ashamed to say i insisted on waking the boss to observe his misfortune. i reminded her tonight (she'd forgotten) and we laughed again.

that must have chafed by the time he eventually lowered himself, sobbing, into bed.

have you ever pissed yourself in public?

TTFN

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stinky fridges and the breakdancing fox

i took a walk to the shop on sunday morning to get a loaf. as i crossed the pedestrian only bridge crossing the railway tracks (they closed it temporarily to vehicles a couple of years back for structural inspections and it’s never re-opened) i noticed a fox sauntering along the station platform in the sunshine. aside from myself, there wasn’t a soul around and this fella was looking very chilled.

it was a pretty manky looking thing. next to no fur round the tail and arse. it got to the end of the platform and – skipping down to the rails - trotted alongside the northbound section for about ten yards before heading across. at this point it got interesting. the boy got fairly animated and may well have been hearing grandmaster fox somewhere close by as it launched into some heavy duty toprocking. the whole thing lasted several seconds as it got truly juiced up by the live rail. more memorable than hearing the fizz of sparks and seeing mr cunning with his lips peeled back was that, having finally crossed the rail, it stopped, composed itself and cooly looked back over it’s shoulder at the offending piece of steel as if to suggest that really was the last time it was going to get caught like that.

stupid fucker. twenty five yards on and it nonchalantly recrossed the same rail. bang on cue the rock steady crew kicked in, there was a couple of neat applejacks followed by frenzied moonwalking whilst plumes of smoke rose from the flaky back end.

i spent the rest of the day cleaning the fridge. well it’s spring. i’m no slob and will usually pick up my portion of domestic duties before threats need to be issued but on this particular day once i got going on the fridge it turned into an obsession. i found cultures and growths alexander fleming could only have dreamt of, having consumed a large slab of stilton before heading off to bed. the fridge is only a couple of years old and gets cleaned reasonably frequently so imagine the boss’ surprise when she returned to find me in the garden with the jet wash and all fridge bits that weren't bolted to the interior.

today’s lesson: if you’re feeling poorly tomorrow morning it’s probably because your fridge has poisoned you and if you’re down the disco checking out the tasty little number throwing shapes on the dance floor when a fox enters, forget it and go home as you’re about to get burned baby.

TTFN

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it's a hard luck life

it's 12.29 and i have finally wrapped up arrangements for the boss' 30th birthday. this is a surpise so - shhh - keep it shtum muckers.

it's thursday (friday actually) and i'm about to head off to the sanctuary of our heated blanket . this may sound like a danger to the environment and an all round waste of time but i can reassure you that with the weather being the way it is i am truly grateful to tony & rebecca for this fine gift.

i'd like to leave you with this thought. when a companion, lover, good friend or family member shares news that leaves you at a loss, avoid the rush to consider the impact on yourself but instead think about the circumstances those close to you find themselves in. then condemn the callous lizards as they skulk beneath the rocks...

TTFN

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nothing to declare.